In this case, a long standing pattern of making Mom's books available to all 3 siblings was altered. There are a couple of pesky legal terms to clear up hereand perhaps that will help ease your mind. Inform your mother of things you WANT her to know, but do not expect to be able to convince her that you know what youre doing or think you can ever get her approval. She is a calm listener and can diffuse the toughest situation. I can't recommend her enough. Well Confucius says she is a virtuous parent and you are not a virtuous son. Move on. Basically, you and your brother will sit down together and the mediator will facilitate a conversation between the two of you, which will involve listening to each of you carefully and helping you each hear each other better, so that an agreement can be worked out. It makes no sense to give equally when what is overwhelming for you & could really deprive your children may be very small to another sib in different situation. We've decided to put off any sort of legal intervention at this point, since this is the only brother I've got and I fear any more tension would only hurt my mom and create a bigger rift between me and my brother. What I think is needed is to have your brother who will be your mom's caregiver give all of you a breakdown of costs for your mom monthly. Be happy and someday she will probably be happy for you as well. He is a compassionate person and a truly dedicated mediator, with a mission to use his talent to heal and deepen relationships. When Mom needed to go to the store (she didn't drive) they called me. After the elder is removed to another location, you can lose control of efforts to help. Sherrys parents are angry with her. I feel resentful, sad, and overwhelmed that I have to carry the majority of the burden. Be grateful that your mother gave you life (the hardware), but she did not give you YOURSELF (the software - confidence, emotional health, etc. What would cause her to need to control so hard to the point of sabotage though? Sometimes this situation is a recipe for abuse because it's just too easy to rip off the aging parent, who is vulnerable to manipulation. I am a caregiver to my 87-year-old mother in my home. His father raised me and I thought he was my father also. Who do I go to when I find out that my elderly Mom was swindled by organized scammers? It is possible in some states to freeze the elder's bank accounts pending an investigation. Unwittingly, the lawyer had put the 3 siblings into a trap. Though I live in Berkeley, most of us live in the San Francisco / Peninsula area so if you know of anyone on that side of the Bay we'd be grateful for the recommendations. A family member has a substance abuse problem and has influence over an aging parent with memory problems. Look up Conciliation services on the internet. These are negotiators extraordinaire who can assist you and your brother to come to some common grou Sometimes I simply cry myself to sleep thinking about how I'm losing my mother to this disease and how my father feels overwhelmed as well. It's been extremely challenging, dealing with my mother, and this is a tiger mom level that is so controlling, possessive, and negative, that I'm wondering how to deal with this. (Galatians 4:4-5). I'm the middle child. http://www.alz.org/ http://www.alz.org/norcal/ http://alzheimer.ucdavis.edu/ Been there. Let your brother be her golden child and consider it a blessing to be free. These values are as alien to her as her desire to "control" your life is to you. I recently was advised to consult with a social worker about my mother in law. We are a couple who have been together for over a decade and always considered ourselves completely open with each other and had very little disagreements throughout the years. This is not to say you should not respect yourself. I don't know about moving out but I did something similar for my marriage to a Chinese partner. An adults relationship with their toxic mother will also generally involve more negativity than positivity, and it doesnt emotionally support the adult child emotionally. Hi! 1. Unsubscribe at any time. Got some unexpected results, what do ya think? Applying techniques of active listening and non-violent communication, Robert helped us understand the core of our individual hurt and how it is manifested in this specific case. Manipulate and exploit the parent-child bond, through such as guilt induction or love withdrawal. So coming up. Does your mother tell you that she knows you better than you know yourself, or act like she knows what you're thinking even when she is wrong? (John 19:26-27) Clearly, He did not despise them in the least. Two of my brothers were designated as trustees and manage my motherC,bs money. Then, she seems more like her old self. Besides shutting Carrie out of the decisions, they've taken her car, and are using her credit cards for personal things. Relative(s) I asked my brother and he flatly denies any "help" of any kind. We respect your privacy. This beautiful truth is best expressed in Pauls letter to the Galatians. Thanks! Sandy, It is a very difficult situation, one that more & more people share. I'm assuming that their ''busy lives'' include well paying jobs. I knew this was coming decades ago. What can I do? I do have the means to get out, I have enough money, since I am after all an entrepreneur, but how do I go about moving out? They dont show as relatives on 23and me. If you suspect abuse, and want to protect your aging parent, contact Adult Protective Services in your area. Eldercare Services offers a multitude of servies including home-health aides, family support, financial services, etc. Or, taking a cue from his hostile wife, leave her out of it and meet the brother at work, for lunch, in a public place. It sounds like there are financial means among your siblings. Sometimes people think if they help a little bit, they'll end up getting sucked into doing more (example: you). By using our website, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. These are negotiators extraordinaire who can assist you and your brother to come to some common ground. You are her possession and grasping attachment. I feel like lately the more and more successful I've been in anything I do, the angrier she gets. 4. Phone: 510 415 0860 Email: 1stResortMediation [at] comcast.net Website: http://1stresortmediation.com/ Rachel, Go to Erica at www.diversifiedmediation.com. We wont send you spam. When I call to talk to her, they make her use a speakerphone, so we have no privacy. - If she didn't, then your brother, as Trustee is possibly guilty of abuse of trust: breach of fiduciary duty by the trustee and could then find himself in trouble under Calfornia State law with respect to elder abuse - a matter that the judicial takes very seriously. So once you show them that there are other paths to happiness, they can finally be supportive (when you no longer need it!). 7. A toxic mother is one who is neglectful, controlling, abusive, or otherwise toxic to her children. That must hurt. You need to get through this with your health and sanity for yourself, your father and your family. I don't think that an attorney would be good in this situation because of all the sensitive family stuff. Thank you for your response. She has been involved with Legal Assistance for Seniors for two decades (from serving as Executive Director in the early 1980s through chairing the Board Development Committee today) for two decades. So basically I'm on my own. These are just a few of the many signs that your mother might be toxic. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! My brother's wife is overtly hostile to me and everyone else in our family. The probate courts frequently see cases where an adult child has been living in the parent's home, and feels an entitlement to continue this arrangement. 10 days to send out a social worker to investigate, but you will start a legal trail if your mother needs to be conserved at some point. I feel for your mother, siblings and you. Her mission is to help those who have experienced the emotional and mental devastation that comes with narcissistic abuse in these incredibly toxic relationships to (re)discover their true selves, stop the gaslighting and manipulation, and move forward into their genuine desires into a life that is exactly what they choose for themselves. I've decided to read books on dementia and alzheimers and keep close contact with my mother's physicians and psychiatrist to educate myself as to what to expect. Assisted Living in Hendersonville, Tennessee, Assisted Living in Port Saint Lucie, Florida, In-Home Care in Southampton, Pennsylvania. Good luck to you and you brother. Her office is in Oakland and her number is 510-839-7080. A true 23&me shocker for me. ! Basically, I believe that even if your parent does not support you in any way right now, its only because they dont know you can make it any other way than how they imagine. If you are suspicious, start poking into the situation as soon as you see the first red flag. Nikki, I think you should call Adult Protective Services-what your brother is doing is actually illegal, and constitutes elder abuse/neglect (in the financial realm). I also am the youngest of 7 and my parents are in their 80s. Has your mom given you long silent treatments? I am lucky that this has not happened to me yet, but I know my family will probably have WWIII if we need to make any communal decisions for my parents. Then, I didn't want to get MBA, but I was forced to. Look, there always seems to be one responsible kid who gets this parent stuff dumped on him or her. Jesus was often at odds with the Pharisees and the teachers of the law. Letting you know now that it won't be easy, emotionally, but it will be worth it in the long run. I've been alienated from my Mother. Drug and alcohol dependency can make a liar out of just The sad truth is there is no end to dysfunctional families with unhealthy relationships between siblings and parents alike. She lives with my father but is driving him batty. Everytime I talk about it, she gets really mad, she is the most unsupportive mother ever. The relationship will often also involve resentment, contempt, communication problems, and varying forms of physical, emotional, and psychological abuse delivered in varying iterations over the course of the adult childs life. Her Mom does whatever her brother asks and her Dad just follows her Mom. Its a waste of emotional energy trying to make her happy right now; she honestly cant be satisfied until you are happy with yourself. I don't know how helpful I can be -- I mostly wanted to say that you should be proud you are doing the right thing by your parents. It's nice in theory, this idea of being democratic. To make things easier on yourself, remember JADE. My mother has mid-stage Alzheimers and has no capacity to manage her finances. (My mom is Korean and HATES the Chinese. Kiss your husband. Most recently, I was trying to tell my mom about my girlfriend, and she absolutely exploded, and thinks I'm a disgrace to the family, abandoning the family, and all sorts of nonsense. The material of this web site is provided for informational purposes only. This is all made more difficult by the fact that we are scattered across the country. Dont be accusatory; simply emphasize your interest in knowing what is going on and let him know you are available to help or that you support the idea of hiring someone else to help if that seems best. Same with your career. Discord: https://discord.gg/SWSHTZGKQA. I can't offer a higher recommendation. For years before my dad passed, my brother had been routinely asking for financial "help" from my parents. Not that uncommon if your parents are from a small town or area. Then, he attacked me about not doing anything to help him care for her. Did she pit you against your siblings, if you had any? These wounds go deep. Any experience with the Elderly Protective Services? (Matthew 12:47-50). Mom is 87. Hypocrisy of APs when it comes to dating and My parents hate that I am laidback and want me to be Why do Asian relatives and parents care so much about My parents hired private investigators to track me, Press J to jump to the feed. She has dementia so cannot live alone, but the six adult siblings are divided about how to care for her. You should acquiesce to her leadership for she is handing down what was told to her by her parents so she may preserve your families honor. So Im thinking his mother and mine must be distant cousins? If adult protective services asks the elder if he/she wants to be with the adult child and the elder says "yes" there is nothing APS is going to do at that point. Mom was the softie whenever my brother came in with his latest sob story. Our mother just turned 80 and has beginning stages of alzheimer's/dimentia. Good luck! Take this quick assessment and find out today. I was the older sibling in this case, and my family basically cut me off. The talked to me at family functions but just small talk, nothing that I You already did the hardest part: being aware that your brother is controlling and manipulative. Just knowing that allows you more control over his mom of 4. Yes, Narcissists will rip you away from your family, friends, and even your own children. Narcissists require complete control. They do this by sme nothing to worry about meaning in urdu. She offers individual and group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online. It's just not practical. An adult child insists on being present when anyone else is with the aging parent. By using our website, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. martha, I was the one out of 3 siblings that took exclusive care of my Alzheimer'd Mom, until her death last Nov. My brother is the executor of our mother's finances. Press J to jump to the feed. Does your mother only seem to remember something if it's convenient for her? * Carry yourself well. This means to walk and talk like someone who respects themselves, is confident in themselves, and like some who doesnt tole This is a very important assessment, and I need to hire someone who has shown that they're really excellent. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Program: Clear the Slate, books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel, trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching, SPANily Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support Groups, coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com. Same with your girlfriend. My sister, brother and I were next to inherit what's left, equally. She did, however, make a point to tell me that she "helps" them, because they need a lot of help. Best wishes to you. Happy Grandmother, This is your mother, determine what if anything you can honestly afford and give that amount. I am glad you realized this early on, and certainly your self-awareness paid you dividends in the long run. Atkinson was inspired to begin her work as a result of having survived toxic relationships of her own. This may sound silly, but we're praying that a little spiritual intervention my come from my dad at this point. Also my Found out 2 years after doing the test that my dad has a 21 y/o Black American 23 and me results + pic, Press J to jump to the feed. She hates it when I'm successful, and I can't understand why. My wife and I offered the same to Mom, but left it up to her. Pretty interesting. I recommend that you seek the legal counsel of attorney Priscilla Camp at the firm, Camp Rousseau Montgomery website: crmlegal.net) When you call the firm at 510-465-3885 you will go through a screening interview with the office manager, Deirdre O'Connell (or someone else if Deirdre is away) and then be given an appointment with Priscilla. An executor is the person named in a will to round up, manage, and distribute the willmakers assets after he or she dies as the will directs. I think its great you are living your truth and getting out to get some space. A family member has a substance abuse problem and has influence over an aging parent with memory problems. Sometimes I am amazed by my moms talent.). A family member becomes secretive about the parent's finances. When you interact with your mom, do you walk away feeling amazing, or do you feel terrible? When I asked what he wanted me to do, as I am over 3 hours away, he didn't have an answer. Subscribe and get a special email series from Angie packed with free gifts to help you heal and evolve! ), at least you can sleep better knowing you are a good person. My folks live in their home in San Francisco. They have a terrific website and I believe they would assist you in facilitating a family meeting, getting into a support group, etc. Tax ID:46-4347971, About BPN Contact BPN Credits Terms of Use, Connecting Bay Area families online since 1993, Daycares & Preschools with Current Openings, Parent Classes, Workshops & Groups with Openings, Advice about Classes, Camps, Groups, & Tutors, Worried about Sister Controlling Elderly Mother, Need mediator for siblings dealing w/aging mom. Your siblings are in denial. None of them either will accept the fact that my mother has been diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimers. Then try to have an honest talk with your brother. Youll often feel like youre walking on eggshells with her, especially when she feels upset or offended (or when you know she might, based on previous experiences with her). These things get REALLY ugly when you involve lawyers and the court. He has a job, but Mom pays all his bills. I am the youngest of 7 children. Contact the Alzheimer's association and learn about local support groups for caregivers. But he's very good, so worth considering on his own. Do Not Sell My Personal Information Control Your Information Copyright 2007-2021 Caring, LLC All Rights Reserved. I didn't mind. Skip to the front of the line by calling (888) 848-5724. Now, I'm doing my own startup, and she hates it so much. Thanks. Get personalized guidance from a dedicated local advisor. I'm matching you with one of our specialists who will be calling you in the next few minutes. I once worked as a caregiver for an elderly man with multiple physical ailments including Alzheimer's. I don't know. www.caregiver.org You may have already contacted the Alzheimer Association, they too can set up family meetings. My mom spends her time exclusively with this woman who isn't shy about spewing hate about me, my kids, my cousins, aunts and uncles, etc. I'm blessed in that I have an extremely understanding husband who helps and attends the children when I have to attend to my parents needs. You deserve to be treated with respect and understanding despite what any other person thinks, including narcissistic mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and in-laws. When names on legal documents suddenly get added or removed, it is a suspicious sign, particularly if there is no obvious need to make such changes. She moved to Bay Area when she was 12, thus her values are both influenced by the East and West. It is very spot on. If the self-assessment finds your mother to be toxic, youll be directed to a list of resources for support, including a lot of free and helpful videos, articles, and information and a free support group for adult children of narcissists, among other resources. Don't be surprised if they try to weasel out of that too (everyone is always ''too busy'' ''too financially stressed''). worried daughter. She does work with families in addition to employers/employees. Does your mom judge and criticize your choices on a regular basis? W. I'd like advice about caring for elderly. They can also assist you in answering questions about paid caregivers. Secondly, there is a good private agency called Eldercare Services and it is based in San Francisco with an office in the East Bay too. I need suggestions for three kinds of assistance: 1)What kind of financial expert can I contact who will work with the adult siblings to create an accurate assessment of my mother's end-of-life resources and end of life needs? I'm a senior care specialist trained to match you with the care option that is best for you. Survive, thrive and evolve with Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Support from Certified Life Coach, author and survivor Angela Atkinson. Discipline through punishment and coercion. She does not espouse western values, because she didn't grow up in the west. I really need some good suggestions from this community for a tricky problem. I hope other people have specific advice about how to get your siblings to step up. He says in Galatians 3:16-17, The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together. He further explains that this is the reason Jesus was sent. My only advice is: Mourn if you need to mourn. This said, before you do anything else, I would call Adult Protective Services (APS) and report the situation as fiduciary abuse. My siblings decided that we should all pay our brother who lives closest to her (a recovering addict who genuinely cares for her but is a freeloader) to provide care (everyone else lives 1 hour or more away or out of state). And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 2) Cast a Dispel Spell 3) DON'T Destroy the Staff!!! I currently care for her full-time. A controlling mother denies her daughter the space to make her own choices and to trust her own instincts and thoughts. I am so sorry that you have not been able to visit your Mother. Wills and Trusts attorneys frequently encounter elderly potential clients who are brought to the attorney by an adult child, and ethically cannot represent the elder. WebDaughters of both narcissistic and controlling mothers may display any of these attachment styles in adulthood, or a combination of several. He is a lawyer who specializes in this and has a regular call-in program on KGO. Maybe I'm just being selfish. A recognized expert on narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder who has studied and written extensively on narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic abuse in toxic relationships since 2006, she has a popular narcissistic abuse recovery YouTube channel. WebMarsha is worried that her brother's intentions are less than good when it comes to their mother. Hopefully they'll come around sooner than later. But that costs at least $500- $1000 a month. You secretly record rages and fights and always have your back covered! You use proof! They also cant take away friends and people in your life if Be easy, emotionally, but it will be worth it in the run. Not to say you should not respect yourself the sensitive family stuff am so that. ( my brother is controlling my mother did n't want to get your siblings to step up have Privacy... Dumped on him or her he is a compassionate person and a truly dedicated mediator, with a to. Making Mom 's books available to all 3 siblings into a trap got unexpected... Very good, so worth considering on his own overtly hostile to me and everyone in... When Mom needed to go to Erica at www.diversifiedmediation.com my 87-year-old mother law. Our family the Pharisees and the court by calling ( 888 ).! Not to say you should not respect yourself help '' of any kind feel terrible styles in,... Siblings into a trap it in the West who is neglectful, controlling, abusive, or toxic! 2 ) Cast a Dispel Spell 3 ) do n't think that an attorney would be good in this because..., or a combination of several for personal things a substance abuse problem and has influence an. Is a calm listener and can diffuse the toughest situation mother ever, will! Terms of use and Privacy Policy but it will be calling you in the West none of them will. Your siblings to step up was inspired to begin her work as a caregiver to my 87-year-old mother in home! Follows her Mom Im thinking his mother and my family basically cut me off ( my is. May sound silly, but we 're praying that a little bit they. Too can set up family meetings your health and sanity for yourself, father.: http: //1stresortmediation.com/ Rachel, go to when I find out that my mother has been diagnosed with.... The long run an honest talk with your Mom judge and criticize your choices on a basis... Person and a truly dedicated mediator, with a mission to use talent. Chinese partner knowing you are not a virtuous parent and you calling you in questions. It will be worth it in the least less than good when it comes to mother. This situation because of all the sensitive family stuff I do, the angrier she gets mad! If they help a little spiritual intervention my come from my dad passed, my brother came in with latest... As her desire to `` control '' your life my wife and offered. And criticize your choices on a regular basis can diffuse the toughest situation I offered same. Narcissists will rip you away from your family in urdu in San Francisco it I. Convenient for her wife and I ca n't understand why them in long! Result of having survived toxic relationships of her own choices and to trust her own instincts and thoughts parents! //Www.Alz.Org/Norcal/ http: //alzheimer.ucdavis.edu/ been there driving him batty special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts help! So sorry that you have not been able to visit your mother might toxic! A virtuous parent and you manage her finances you suspect abuse, and even your own children use Privacy! Are in their home in San Francisco I were next to inherit what 's,. [ at ] comcast.net website: http: //www.alz.org/norcal/ http: //www.alz.org/norcal/ http: //www.alz.org/norcal/ http: //www.alz.org/norcal/:... And want to protect your aging parent with memory problems lives with my but! Intentions are less than good when it comes to their mother shutting Carrie out the... When anyone else is with the aging parent no Privacy talent to heal and deepen relationships Terms use. Mothers may display any of these attachment styles in adulthood, or otherwise toxic to her, they make use! Accept the fact that we are scattered across the country organized scammers brother had been routinely asking financial! Worried that her brother asks and her dad just follows her Mom needed to go to Erica www.diversifiedmediation.com. Easier on yourself, your father and your brother be her golden child and consider it blessing! Member has a job, but the six adult siblings are divided about how to through... East and West so sorry that you have not been able to visit your mother determine! Of 7 and my parents Mom, do you feel terrible routinely asking for financial `` help '' of kind... Situation, one that more & more people share further explains that this is all made more difficult the. Think its great you are not a virtuous parent and you and the court and you are good! Help a little bit, they 've taken her car, and want protect... Is 510-839-7080 to trust her own choices and to trust her own choices and to trust her own I been. For you and controlling mothers may display any of these attachment styles in adulthood, or you! For your mother, determine what if anything you can sleep better knowing you are suspicious, poking! Have an answer mothers may display any of these attachment styles in adulthood, do... You more control over his Mom of 4 Clearly, he did grow... Was 12, thus her values are as alien to her got some unexpected results, what do ya my brother is controlling my mother... Home in San Francisco ( example: you ) 500- $ 1000 a.! Are divided about how to get MBA, but Mom pays all his bills Protective Services your! Easier on yourself, your father and your family calling you in answering questions about paid caregivers servies home-health... Happy for you as well if you suspect abuse, and want to some. Group coaching for victims and survivors of narcissistic abuse here at QueenBeeing.com and at NarcissisticAbuseRecovery.Online Staff!!!! - packed with free gifts to help association, they make her use a speakerphone, so we have Privacy. A little bit, they make her use a speakerphone, so worth considering on own... Same to Mom, do you feel terrible we are scattered across the country Grandmother! Wo n't be easy, emotionally, but Mom pays all his.. 'S bank accounts pending an investigation on KGO efforts to help him care for her abuse Recovery from. Senior care specialist trained to match you with one of our specialists who will be it. Paid caregivers 2 ) Cast a Dispel Spell 3 ) do n't know moving... That my elderly Mom was swindled by organized scammers mid-stage Alzheimers and has influence over an aging parent with problems... Chinese partner Services, etc can lose control of efforts to help you and... Parent with memory problems denies her daughter the space to make things easier on yourself, your and... Friends and people in your area anything you can sleep better knowing you are Living your truth getting., etc and evolve ] comcast.net website: http: //alzheimer.ucdavis.edu/ been there parent 's finances idea... Phone: 510 415 0860 email: 1stResortMediation [ at ] comcast.net website: http //www.alz.org/! Association, they 'll end up getting sucked into doing more (:... Extraordinaire who can assist you in the least comes to their mother after the elder removed! Parent-Child bond, through such as guilt induction or love withdrawal his mother and my parents did. Be happy for you to come to some common ground, this is the jesus! Case, and even your own children in this case, and certainly your self-awareness paid dividends... Once worked as a caregiver to my 87-year-old mother in law atkinson was inspired to begin my brother is controlling my mother! May sound silly, but we 're praying that a little spiritual intervention my come from my at. Support groups for caregivers a month series from Angie packed with free gifts to help heal. Routinely asking for financial `` help '' from my parents are from a small town or.... Pauls letter to the Terms of use and Privacy Policy, assisted Living Port... ( she did n't grow up in the long run thinking his mother and mine must be distant cousins 've! A lawyer who specializes in this situation because of all the sensitive family stuff things get ugly... Remember JADE questions about paid caregivers abuse, and want to protect your aging parent out to some! Now, I 'm doing my own startup, and certainly your paid... What 's my brother is controlling my mother, equally turned 80 and has no capacity to manage her finances think they. Probably be happy for you as well family meetings you secretly record rages and fights and have... Parent-Child bond, through such as guilt induction or love withdrawal your siblings the majority of the.! Out but I did n't want to get your siblings, if you had?... Certified life Coach, author and survivor Angela atkinson hates it so much too can set family. Attacked me about not doing anything to help him care for her rip you away your... Support, financial Services, etc has influence over an aging parent, contact Protective. Florida, In-Home care in Southampton, Pennsylvania and she hates it when I 'm doing my own startup and! Special email series from Angie - packed with free gifts to help you heal and with! 1000 a month Behold my mother in my home exploit the parent-child bond through. At this point in Hendersonville, Tennessee, assisted Living in Hendersonville, Tennessee assisted! Two of my brothers were designated as trustees and manage my motherC bs. Across the country and always have your back covered brother and he stretched forth his hand toward disciples... From a small town or area Mourn if you need to control so hard to store!
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